Birthday.

So....I'm 18, this is good and bad. Bad b/c temptations just doubled, and good b/c i'm freaking 18. This gives me a lot of freedoms and hopefully some leeway with my parents.
Went to Miyo's with some of my bestfriends, and had a blast! The sushi was amazing and the cheesecake was the best thing ever. The jasmine tea taste like you're drinking the sent of jasmine. Blackberry sage tea comes in a really cool bottle, and we had fun taking pictures, and my little cousin says the best things EVER! Our waiter had an amazing peircing and i went to the mall and retainers are only like 5 bucks! wooo. and the chick told me that cartledge peircings heal in like two months, and i mean..she had 6, so i beleive her, haha.
"I'm gonna eat the crap out of you"-Jordan, my 10 year old cousin, talking to Courtney, my 6 yearold bestfriend (she's actually 18). Yikes.
I got 5 books, which are all amazing, i'm getting 6th from courtney eventually, and i got a sketch book from susan, who is pressing me to draw more. Go susan. This is my potentially my last post for a week, when i post next, it may be about how bad my ear hurts. haha
I love all of you who came today, and all of you who couldn't come but wanted too!

Denholm Davis got me the Dr. Seuss book Happy Birthday. I love him.

God Bless,
Love.
<3

Sunday night shack.

So, i've figured out why i stopped producing art. I took God out of my art. This shouldn't have ever happened. God is the reason i can make art, and the reason i love doing it. The best things i have ever made have been related to God, so i don't know why i stopped making it have somthing to do with Him?
Usually when i worship with music, i sing and i clap, and stand and dance-ish. So yeah, i didn't do that yesterday, i just drew in my journal.
A few things have been coming up a lot during shack, like every week. Child like Faith, Selflessness, and Fear. Last night we talked about death and sorrow, and how sorrow is neccesary, but not better than happiness. I really loved talking about this, b/c i'm a firm believer in God always having somthing amazing waiting for us, and that to get it, we have to go through all the negative and sorrow and pain.
If this makes sense you to, you're amazing.
<3

Break my Body

This is what I keep asking God to do. Break me, in all my materialism, make me less about my body. I'm in a constant state of battle right now. It's been real difficult. Pray for me, whoever you are, pray for me, for strength, wisdom and guidence. Ask God to teach me how to love others and myself, and to break me off my materialism.
Thank you.
God bless,
Love.
<3

I've been saved from sin, Now i just need to be saved from me.

So, i use to like this girl, and still have like...the after feelings for her. but those are passing, anyways, we use to talk a lot, and about everything, and now...we don't talk a lot, and when we do...it's like there's nothing there to talk about. And she might date this other guy now, and i'm happy for both of them, they're both really great, and i'm not even jealous or anything like that, but what happens to me? Do i just fade in to the background, serving them both coffee and espresso drinks, and watch them be all happy? Maybe i could try to reach out to them? try to touch base again, i don't know, maybe i'll just fade, and be okay with it. I need a break, i need a day where i feel infinite, and i need a day to worship God, and pray and just be with Him and abide in Him constantly through out that day. And I think that I know exactly who i want to spend that day with. I'll call her today sometime.
God bless,
Love.
<3

Wired Bean, homestyle!

Hkokay, so, Megan, Courtney and I basically revamped the entire wired bean yesterday....which is in actuallity, two hours ago. We were there from 4:00PM to 1:00 AM...that is like..9 hours. INsane. BUUUT it looks amazing and you HAVE to come see it. I love it sooo much, and me and courtney seriously put like 50 books in there...me and her donated a looot of books together. We changed seating, moved the bookcase, dusted the fans, moved tables, put up TONS of art work and got two more lamps, we're going to have a pick up area too...it's SOOOO exciting. GO LOOK!!!!!
And now i'm soo tired and need to sleep. i love you.

You make me strong

If you ask me to leap out of my boat on the crashing waves
If you ask me to go preach to a lost world that Jesus saves
I'll go but I cannot go alone
Cause I know I'm nothing on my own
But the power of Christ in me makes me strong
Makes me strong
Cause when I'm weak, You make me strong
When I'm blind, You shine Your light on me
Cause I'll never get by living on my own ability
How refreshing to know You don't need me
How amazing to find that You want me
So I'll stand on Your truth, and I'll fight with Your strength
Until you being the victory, by the power of Christ in me
If you ask me to run And carry Your light into foreign land
If you ask me to fight Deliver Your people from satan's hand
I'll go but I cannot go alone
Cause I know I'm nothing on my own
But the power of Christ in me makes me strong
Makes me strong

i have a better wit, a better kiss, a hotter touch, a better.....

Armwarmer, bananas, cat, duck, elephant, futon, gerber, ham, inquisitive, jello, karma, maroon, ninja, orgasm, powertools, quarentine, ribbed, salsa, Tiffany's, umbrella, Vancouver, wish, xin, yearn, zurich.
This is Susan and I at three somthing in the morning.
say hello.
haha, last night was amazing!
God bless,
Love.
<3

I spy somthing you don't see....

Me and my cousin played this for like an hour last night. I had to go pick my brother up from work last night, and Jordan just started playing iSpy, and it was actually a lot of fun. I normally get annoyed at his attempt to amuse himself b/c it usually ends up in someone getting hurt, but this was cool. It felt absolutley amazing to be able to forget all the stuff in my life and just play iSpy with my little cousin from Indiana.

"As the God man passes by

He looks straight through my eyes

And darkness cannot hide

Do you want to be free?
Lift your chains

I hold the key

All power on Heav'n and Earth belong to me"

The performance is convincing

and we know every line by heart
only when no one is watching
can we really fall apart.

God is so forgiving and freeing, and if it wasn't for that, where would we be? He has blessed me with a family who deeply loves me and who i deeply love in return, and one that doesn't fight everything i do, one who respects me, He's blessed me with an amazing family of friends, who also love me, and know that I love them in return and who I would do ANYTHING for. I have a job that is wonderful and work with ppl who could not be more caring if they tried.
I've realized recently that life is hard, it just is, and we just have to focus on the positive. And even tho i'm running in to so many walls right now, and at every turn in my life, i have some emotional trial to deal with, I feel so safe and find comfort in little else but God and the ones in my life He has blessed me with. God is the one constant in our lives, our existance. Everything about our entire world and lives changes, even nature around us, changes. Our hearts, our shape, our enviroments, they're constantly changing and moving and it doesn't give us much to hold on to...and then there's God, who is always there and is just waiting for us to grab on to Him, and when we do, it's always like we're grabing a rock in the middle of a raging river. He is our rock in so many ways, and i am So thankful for that. All i have to do to know i'm going to be okay, is just think of Him or just say His name, and it's like..."okay, i can do this, all of this is just temporary anyways." Like tonight at work, it's saturday, it's gonna be busy, and I'm already tired from working this morning, so i'm gonna be looking to Him a lot, and I have no doubt that He'll be there, and that i'll be able to see Him clear as day.

"I have carried you since you were born; I have taken care of you from your birth. Even when you are old, I will be the same. Even when you hair has turned gray, I will take care of you. I made you and will take care of you," says the Lord. ~~Isaiah 46:3-4

And that, is my proof.

God bless,
Love.
<3