if i was a Venters.

If i could write songs, i'd write you one to tell you how much you mean to all of us and about how you've made this bed and you've dug this grave. It'd talk about how you could have helped all of this, could have hurt a lot less people. I'd sing lines about forgivness and grace and about how you eventually do have to realize that your life isn't that bad. that you have a great family and an amazing little brother who looks up to you, and you live in a great town in a house with a pool, your parents understand you and i might also mention that you have a running car and how that puts you in the top 8 percent of the world.
i would probably call it Ignoring Blessings.
it would most likely be in a minor key. a harmonica would be used, and i'd end with some line about how i wish you wouldn't try so hard to push us away, because pulling you back is getting really hard.

consider this my EP.

dear Friend
You come around this town
You call home
Say you'd move here if you could
And i never doubt that you would
But can i ask this small favor?
Just leave us alone.

You bring out the worst in us
You encourage our stupidity
And we all enable your
Self-imposed celebrity.

You say you hate rligion
But worship instead
The gods of pride and sex
That are all in your head.

Indulgences with out penance
Has split the church once,
It'll split this family just the same.

a cry a plea a scream

God help us.
Our hearts are breaking and burning for You just as our lungs burn for the oxygen we deprive them of with our cigarettes. Our souls are crying out, we need you to bare our loads, b/c our shoulders are so small and so weak. and we are failing to sharpen eachother, but we're trying, and getting better all the time, but i feel like we are so much more eachothers cigarette, depriving the other of You, even though You are what we really crave and what we need to breath and what our brain needs to function without agitation. You are what is missing and You are the one who we need to be our Hero and our Saviour. We try to carry eachother on our own and we keep on droping one another, and eventually we're all just gonna break because of our pride.
We need to be Torches Together and we need to be eachothers iron, and You, God are the only one who can make this happen. So this i give to You. Help us and Guide us and give us strength and wisdom and just carry us on Your shoulders. This burden is too much, please God, just take it away.
this i pray with faith.

ow

1 Verse
My heart crumbling
Pieces everywhere
My view of selflessness changed.

Romans 9:3.

Read it.
Imagine it, feel your heart break.
Re-evaluate your self and how much you care.

Shack was great tonight.
MidTown was amazing, but i think it's too big for me. I like my organic worship and discussions.

Wub wub wub to my friends.
<3

Lord you see my cavities.

You know my valleys and my weaknesses and You guide me and hold me up and carry me through all of it.
I almost went clubing tonight..bad idea for me, i instead had to work and working made me at the old mill where a friend needed me, and working also had a friend stop by who helped my other friend also. This all resulted in me and friend #2 going to columbia for awesome conversation and hookah. I also might buy a hookah..woot.
God, You love and carry me and all you ask me to do is to Love, to Serve, and to Obey. I'll try my best.
<3
wub wub wub to You.

Man of God

I'm still trying to figure out how to do this, how to become a Man of God.
I've made progress, but it's been slow, which is good. I have a new mantra of sorts, and it's helped. Love, Serve, Obey. Love God and my fellow people, Serve God and serve Him by serving others, and Obey what God has commanded. Sounds pretty simple right....and it's actually not that bad. i mean, it's not easy, but life isn't easy. So anyways, this new outlook is helping me.
God will never stop delivering for me. I don't even know if i have been asking for help, but i've been getting it, so i'm really glad.
I have also decided that i'm going to get a lot more serious about my commitments to God. Going through a week with younger kids to keep me accountable taught me a lot. Like how i have to repress saying "that's what she said" far more than i should, i mean, can i really not have a conversation without my mind reverting to sex....even during the first and maybe the second chaple services i had to keep myself in major check with that crap. So i'm working on clearing up my heart and my mind in hopes of becoming a better Man of God. I WILL be one of the guys who makes my friends that i girls highten their standards. I want to beable to lead younger kids with a good and clean heart, and give them something to help them realize you can be Clean and Good and still have fun.
Lord, Father of all, please help me in this, help me become a better child to You and a better image to them.

Love Serve Obey

That's Love

I've been on my knees for you,
In the night i weep with you,
I pray that He will comfort you,
Through the valley carry you.

I don't miss everything as much, i'm getting over my post-camp depression.
But i'm still very concerned about my guys. I'm still praying for them a lot. which is good.
I really hope that they're doin well and will contact me if they need help.
Well, off to work.
<3

Heart of a Champion

Theme of one of the most blessed weeks of my life.

And i miss it terribly. I miss it so much but it's not a painful or bitter or sad missing, it's just...

i miss my kids, and the guys in my cabin, and serving and waking up at 1:30 to wake up a 13 yr old type one diabetic and having awesome conversations then and then going to sleep in my uncomfortable bed hot and sticky and humid and feeling like i had served and accomplished and sleeping better than ever b/c of that. I miss sitting in the middle of the floor at 12 o'clock and praying for God to protect my cabin and the whole camp and to wisper in their ears and guide and protect them in their sleep and dreams. I miss all of it.

I want my whole life to be like that, to be concerned for kids that are not my own but at the same time, are. I want to minister to kids and i want to teach them about our God and about serving and about living and being children of God and men and women of God.

I think I want to be a youth minister....This complicates things, but it's okay. b/c it's a direction...and one i've now had a little bit of insight in to, and i'm not scared of it anymore. I hunger for it.

To my future Wife,

I have been re-affirmed of your existence, i know God will give us to eachother, i've started praying for you now.

I know we'll meet, and you wont be the girl i can have a 5 hour conversation with (b/c i can do that with a lot of people) but because we can sit there for 5 hours and not have to talk. You'll share my appriciation for simplicity and you'll help me in my fight against materialism and complexity. You'll pray for me as i will you and you'll pray with me, and i hope and pray that God takes care of you and makes you're way blessed and sends you angels to guard you. I Love You, and I trust in God that He will protect you.

Love,

Denton