Finding God in Everything.

I like listening to music while I blog, tonight, it's Swing Low Sweet Chariot and some Plumb

So I had another realization yesterday, after a lot of praying and strife over my job. I came to the conclusion Monday that there is no good side to my job other than the few friends I've made there. I was near tears Monday night, so anxious about going to work the next day, because it's so so extremely discouraging. My manager has this amazing ability to say the simplest things in the most cutting manner, and have no knowledge of how it affects her employees. So after a couple of days verbally abusing her in my mind, and out loud to friends (not her of course), and freaking out about my job, and not looking forward to the next 5 days of work, an talking to my parents, praying, sleeping, and more praying Tuesday morning, I realized that I was being humbled. I felt like Theresa or Which Wich owed me something...or just the greater adult world in general....I don't know, but there was a lot of pride involved, and I've been praying for humbleness and trying to be more aware of my prideful thoughts and humble myself a little too. So I realized that this was God's answer to my prayer....and surprisingly, I was joyful, and thankful. I mean, I had asked after all. I also realized how I was acting wrong in the situation and that is to say I had been holding on to everything she had said to me yet still expected her to not hold on to my mistakes. Who sees the problem with this? I certainly do. So, after those amazing little gifts of discernment from God, I get to work and Theresa isn't there....
She wasn't there today either btw, I think He's giving me time to adjust to this new perspective...and I'm very thankful.
But after work is when the REAL realization came. So I was just thinking about how God is using this job, and how its a sucky job, and how I just didn't know why I had to have THIS job. And then I went full circle and remembered that God was using it, and that knowing this little tid bit of information was how I am going to withstand it until I can find another one. And then...BAM*!*!*!*! it hits me...It's not about finding the good in everything, it's about finding GOD in everything..the quote of mine that Taylor reminded me of on that note of hers....I remembered what it meant. There may not always be good in something, somethings just genuinely suck, but God is using them regardless, He uses all things for His purposes and glory and plan.
so...there it is...interesting huh?

God, please, continue to be a rainfall of leaves in my life. Give us reminders of You, Lord. Amen.

Sacrificial offering of self

I learned something very important this past Sunday. Kevin taught at the last Summer SNS and he taught about Love. Now, when talking about love you can talk about any number of areas or aspects of it, and Kevin chose to talk more about the counter-intuitiveness of love. How it is not instinctive to us. We are flesh and immersed into the sin nature, therefore it is instinctive for us to think of ourselves and what we want to do, and love has the uncanny ability to make us do things, act in ways or say things that we would not normally do. He also talked about how love requires sacrifice, some may not believe or agree with this, but I could not agree more. So, he talked about how we have to sacrifice to love, and it mad me start thinking about dieing to self, and how it's not so much about dieing to your self and having your desires and wants die, but its about actually sacrificing them. You have to I have to Sacrifice Myself to God, my wants, my desires. I have to put myself last. oy. Application of Faith.....

Reply to Lana

Hey, my name is Denton. I was a counciler at jr. high camp edisto. I am starting to work with their youth, and i'll be more than willing to give meagan your email the next time I see her.

In other news: Job.
I'm conflicted about my job. I find it extremely discouraging sometimes, but others I can't help but smile. Maybe I just need to look for God more in this. Like I said to taylor like two years ago, It's not about finding good in everything but finding God in everything. His love and Grace and guidence are there, His presence is there, I just need to find it, to see it. I'm also starting to gain more encouragement from my church, and that is helping also. hrm...We'll see I guess.

I am now

Officially a Phil Wickham fan. Always Forever is an amazing song. Excuse the crappy media shout video, it's not mine.

That thing that we do.

So, I looked back to the blog I wrote very close to today a year ago, and I was so much more self aware then, far more willing to recongize my faults, and own up to them. I feel as though I've lost myself in pride and complaint, I can see the light coming from above, from the world outside of this hole that I've dug for myself. I'm climbing toward it, but it feels once again, as it did a year ago, that God isn't even listening, that He's dissapointed in me, and I've grown enough in the past year to know that those things aren't true, and that He loves me always, and that I have His grace and forgiveness, and that He hears every word I utter. It just feels like that. Is this enemy, or self? and how often are those the same thing?
I need prayer, I need help, I need confession, I need love. I am loved, I am Loved, I Am Loved. I need to love myself. Will this be my other eternal struggle...self love? God, I beseech You that it is not so.
I'm getting so stressed out about this next year, and I really just need to give it all to God already. He got me through this last one, He'll get me through this one. I'm in need, I'm in Need of You, Lord.

Also, Carole Joy, if you still read this, I love you and I miss you.

Work always like you are working for God.

I'm quickly running out of steam and enthusiasm for my job, it's losing all fun. I know work isn't for fun, but being a prep guy has actually added stress because marina hasn't been here, so I've been the only prep person for going on two weeks. And it's my second week doing it.
But I know that God will give me strength for this, He already has many times before. I trust that He is by my side.

Jesus's ministry was where people were,
So we've got to go to where people are.



2 Corinthians 4:16-18 Therefore we do not lose heart. Though outwardly we are wasting away, yet inwardly we are being renewed day by day. For our light and momentary troubles are achieving for us an eternal glory that far outweighs them all. So we fix our eyes not on what is seen, but on what is unseen. For what is seen is temporary, but what is unseen is eternal.





Also, this song speaks to me.

And this one is just good.

A week ago today

I was experiencing God in amazing ways, I was praying over young friends I'd made, and was about to endure one of the most difficult trials of my life.
Now, I'm not as lonely as I was, I'm slowly re-integrating myself into the society and community here. I'm aso not doing as well spiritually, but i'm trying to work on that...Hopefully a week with out parents will give me time enough to really focus on God. But that really will only happen if I want it to, and I motivate myself and put effort into it. And I guess that's the hard part about this all, beyond my relationship with God, I don't have anything to push me to be a better follower of Christ. I know that God is all I need, and I shouldn't require anything else to give me that extra push...God, I feel weak Lord. Give me strength to be who You would have me be.