Love is patient

Christmas has moved me again and again this year. Singing carols has brought me to tears several times this month and all day i've felt like crying out of pure joy. I think of the presents i got some of my friends, the ones i'm making, and i tear up. I cry a lot for a person, a whole lot for a guy, but today has been insane. I just keep tearing up and am filled with love and joy for my family, friends, and my Lord. He has been so gracious to me and the ones who loved me.
Love, love love love LOVE LOOOOOVE. It's around me soo much! I feel like my house, world, church, and just LIFE is filled with it! I feel it from God so much. I don't know why it's like this. But i'm completely okay with feeling like this. It's amazing.
I don't know how to explain this. I feel so joyous and happy and loving and 1 Corinthians 13 has been sprinting around my head all day. Every spare moment i've just sat, A little voice (God?) has been like "Love is Patient, Love is Kind...." I don't know why, but it's been crazy. If anyone can explain this to me, that'd be awesome. Not that i'm complaining.
So just remember, Love IS patient and Kind and holds NO grudges.
Merry Christmas, and all that that implies.

Does mama have to do everything around here?-Tina Fey

So i realized somthing today.
Punishment is not justice. Punishment is glorified revenge, the punisher is a legalized vigilanty. Forgivness is justice, to forgive is to be just. I often tell my mom (and by tell i mean argue with) that if i get murdered i don't want her to press for death charges. I don't agree with capital punishment. Is it odd that i would ask my mother to forgive my murderer? That i would ask all of the people who love me to? If something like that happens to me, i want the people in my life to forgive them, to realize that true justice will ONLY come when that person sees our Lord. No matter if they spend months, years in prison. Or even if they die, it will not bring any one "closure" and will not be justice, it will be revenge, and anyone who knows me knows that that's not what i would want. I don't know why i am thinking about this today but i am.
So, i'm going to go through my mind, and the people i believe need to be punished, i'm going to try my hardest to forgivle. It's going to take a while and it will be trying and hard, but it'll happen.
So go, go out in to your world, your life, and fogive. I'll be praying for you!

I need you like water in my lungs

Dear Diary,
Today sucked, i've eaten way too much, and good books are few and far between.
The. End.

Have i told you lately, that i love you.

Have i mention how much i love and adore and am greatful for my friends? They might all of boyfriends and girlfriends, but they will always know how to make me smile and supply me with the warmest feeling in the world. God has blessed me with an asian that expects the best of me even when i don't, a dani that will taste anything i hand to her because she trust me, a neurotic spaz that pushes me through school, a small dancer, libral who puts me in a better mood no matter what and and entire house church that supports me. and that's not the enitre list. He has been so good to me.
Look back and see what He's given you, it's an amazing experience.

O-oh oh, here i am again.

Here i am again. All my bestfriends have boyfriends(they're all girls), my family doesn't ever see me, i feel alone in a coffee shop that i've lived in for years, and all i can do is put my head in my hands, taking in the sent of espresso grounds that defines me as a barista and wonder why. Why did i end up here again, why do i find myself in this position more often than not. Why i don't have that person, friend, family, some one who works in the same building as me, that comes and sees me, comes and visits me when i have no customers. I have my bestfriends, and i have a few of them, but they, at this point in time, have more-significant others than myself, and i really don't enjoy forcing myself on couples. So i ask God why, and then i remember that i don't have someone because i don't have the relationship with God that i need to have to be in a relationship. I would love someone to fall into infatuation with, to be smitten by, to glow about, but those things end, and it's never good, and would just futher distract me from my relationship with God.
and yet still, even knowing that, i just want that person. That person will talk to me until 4 in the morning, no matter how many times i tell them to go to sleep if i'm keeping them up, that will throw food at me and that will laugh at all my rediculous traits.
God of love, my Lord, my King, give me strength to give You this offering.

Why i love my church/columbia

I just woke up in the shack. on the big red couch. I didn't really intend on staying here last night. I mean, it was a possibility, and i came to columbia knowing this, but then i just figured i'd go home around like 1, and then i fell asleep. hahaha, who knew?
Love,
Denton

ay-oh ay-oh-ay-oh-ay!

So, i hope this doesn't discredit me as a good judge of music, but i like the new santana/chadfromnickleback song.

News: I got my helix (cartilege/upper ear) pierced yesterday. it hurts, but it looks good.
I slept through the night without damaging it or even waking up, so that's good. And now i just have to get through my shower without crying.
I can do this!
What i'm telling myself is that even if i took it out right now, i'd still have to do all the cleaning things and they'd hurt just as much, but the end result wouldn't be as cool and wouldn't look as good.
Good thinking eh?

Am i ready to let go? not at all.

But it's okay.

God will give me strength, God will give me peace. And I will meet with Garret and Julia again.

Garret,
no clue if you will ever read this, but here it goes.

Thank you, thank you, thank you. I could never say these words enought to you Mr. Curry. You were the brother that never judged me, and i'm so grateful. You never expected anything but honesty from me, and you never assumed anything. You asked about everything and made me face questions i didn't think i could. And you did this in an hour sitting on sticks and leaves talking to me as a pastor, friend, and brother in christ. You are the oldest person i have ever talked to about my struggles and a male at that. Sunday night, last night, your last Shack, all i could think about was that conversation we had, sitting in leaves while the boys played football. I'm sure you would have loved to join them, but you sat with me, helping me, asking me questions, listening to my answers.

I can only Hope and Pray that God will put another man in my life as willing as you.

so once again Garret, thank you.

And thank you too Julia, seeing you and Garret at the Wired Bean, I would think to myself, "wow, so that's what marrige is like. Cool" It made me look foward to it even more.

I love you both, and am going to miss you, but i'll hold you in my heart and think of you often.

Merry Christmas, and all that it implies,

Denton

so, about that one time.

Ugh, never, ever again.
ow.
<3 u all.
last night was fun, and friday night was more fun!
to night is garret's last shack, i don't know what i'm going to do.
rawr.
bittersweet weekend at best.

The water is rising and my legs just wont swim.

My school work feels like the dirt being scooped in to my grave. What ever happens, i will not become overwhelmed. i refuse to let go and drown! God will raise me up and take me through this, i know He will.