Honnor thy mother and father.

I just spent like three hours or more talking to my mom. She's scared to death she wont get up in the morning. It was amazing. We learned so much about eachother, and have started to understand eachother so much more. Our relationship is being challenged but growing, it's a tough experience to learn to see your parents in a new light, but one that is ultimately rewarding I think. So I just thank God for this conversation, and for my entire day that He has led me through. It's been amazing.

my friends,

I am at an edge.
The edge of somthing deep and unknown. I can feel the power down below, like heat rising from a furnace, warm and gentle on my face. Welcoming, beckoning. But I know that jumping will break me. I don't mean, the fall, I mean the jump. The act of throwing my self from the stability under me, the superficial steadiness of control, into the willing arms of You will break me body and soul. And even though I know that I will be put back together as a better man than I am now by Your able hands, I'm terrified. Dependence is not somthing I'm good at. Because I like to draw my validation from lesser things than You and Your love. You're asking me to jump, but not willing to push me. You want me to project myself off of my false sense of security, for my own will to take my heels off the ground, and into.......You.
Will You hold my hand? Will You lead them? Will I? Can I?
You want me to know that I'm good enough. That I'm worth what You want, what You have to give me. How can I believe that? What makes me an heir? What made You love me?

I think i'm ready Lord, but who am I to know?

It seems as though You have so much planned for this week....


This was the begining of a drafted post that I was going to type on saturday night.
I had no clue what I was in for. I've experienced things this past for days that I never thought I would. I've been more spiritually stretched, sharpended, and made aware then I had previously thought possible. I have a love for the people in my church that is making me go insane. I didn't actually know my own heart could be this encompassing. I've prayed, thought, cried, sang, and laughed to the Lord to extents that still confound me and make me wonder if I'll wake up tomorrow and it'll be sunday morning, and i'll be leaving to go to asheville then.
I've climbed a mountain and soared throught valleys. I'll never be the same person leaving a shack retreat as I was going into it. That much, I have learned.

The Lord is gracious and slow to anger.
He is rich in Love, He is good to all

Ashes, ashes, we all fall down

I am very upset with The Watchmen. They made that movie in to an overly sensationalized parody of what it should have been. The Watchmen, in the comic, are above that crap, they are trying to fight against all of those things. I'm disappointed that I no longer feel safe taking a girl to see a movie. I'm upset that I don't feel okay watching an entire movie....I feel as though I would be damaging myself to watch an entire movie above Pixar level......

However, I'm reveling in the day God has brought. It's amazing, suppose to get up to 80. It's just windy enough too. I mean, i'm going to be working during most of it but i'm okay with that. And I'm just praying that it contiues to go until sunday at least.
Thank you, Lord, for the trip that I'm about to take! Thank you, for the job I'm about to go to.

Worship punching bag?

No, I don't mean worshiping a punching bag, I mean, worship as a punching bag.
Tell me if I'm being heretical here...
So, I didn't get my quiet time today...I was slack. So I was really frustrated, and council didn't help, it wasn't bad, it just felt weird to me tonight. Driving was rediculous, and parking was worse, and as a side note, I'd like greek lyfe a lot more if it's members didn't feel the need to try to kill me three times a night with their cars. Anyways, so I was driving home and I was barely containing the urge to go about 70 down knox abbot, but decided (or was lead to) turn on the radio instead, it was on WMHK, and a song that we sing at Shack was on so I left it there, and the next song wasn't really anything special, just loud with a lot of very loud vocal parts, so I sang along, in my beautiful broken voice that God alone enjoys, and vented all my frustrations out through that, and it was like I was giving it all to Him with out meaning to, or I guess doing it in a more formal way... it was a lot like I was hitting a punching bag, or driving really fast or somthing to that affect...it realxed me and calmed me down a lot...
So, thoughts?