Happy Halloween?

Bah.

i'm a blog flake, but i'm not the only one so we're good.

I've frankly been too busy to read or write any.
I've found some verses that I love and think really apply to me, Ecclesiasties 11:9-10

Go read them, astounding..if you're a young man. like myself.

Also, somthing was revealed to me last night, either by God (most likely) or my common sense (not so likely) but I don't want to be one to assume. Regardless it's good.

Satan Hates me.

And that's basically it. But I'll elaborate.

he wants to see me unhappy, sad, and defeated. Any road or path that I am led down by him is directly away from God, and not only that, but all that I love or that makes me happy and brings lasting Joy into my life. I realized that this is a simple thought and one I should have grasp much earlier on in my faith, especially how much the southern baptist dogma was beat into me as a young christian. But it didn't really strike me until last night. Satan is not just wanting me to have a good time, and not listen to God, it's not that plain or simple. he wants me to fall away from God, love, happiness. It's not that he just doesn't want me to win, to end up in heaven, he wants me to lose. Wants me to fall in to utter darkness and un-truth, to lose my sense of self and morality and forget what joy ever was. I am hated by him because I am Man, I am part of God's chosen creation, made in His image, and loved unfailingly and allowed redemption.

I am Denton, a Child of God, a Son of God, a status that was ascribed by Grace and Mercy, that cannot be taken away.

This made sin seem even less tempting, made my temptations seem more like traps. I thank God that I was shown this.

Purity is not restricting, it is more freeing than anything else.

It's one...i just woke up.

Up hill battle isn't quite right...it's like i'm running up hill, and i just keep picking up the biggest rocks and tying them to myself.
And i really just need to kick myself in the ass...

I've been catchin all your ghost for every season

I pray to God that you wont come back here any more.

Do you pray with Him too?

I will never understand what Love truly is, beyond that it is God, or rather that He is it. It is because of that fact that I believe I'll never truly, fully understand it. If I did, if I was able to, than it would be to know what/who God is. It would be to understand God. A god you understand is not a god. So is a love that you understand not love? or just not unconditional love. Becuase i don't think i'll ever beable to understand unconditional love, because it's not really somthing i'm good at.

That being said, I think i'm begining to understand it enough to love myself.

I wish that I had known you were bleeding

While I sat and watched you reading with the Lord

I read with Him, too.

Perfect Love for a beloved child.

So, on another blog, my friend referenced God calling her name. Saying that He would call her Beloved, and Child.

I pray that You call me that some day. Lord, I want to run, fly, into You. I want to hear you call Your church Beloved. I want You to call me Child.
I, more so, want to feel worthy of that name.

You take care, You answer when I ask, You show me when I seek.

we're yelling, "someone's got the answers,

but I'd rather think there's nothing to be found

I've had almost a week with out my parents..i've gone places, i've hung out, and i still was responsible...
I'm 19, it's not a suprise to me that i can do these things, nor is it a suprise to them. So why do i still have to spend so much time at my house?
They're one their way back right now, and i have mixed feelings. I miss them, so i'm glad i'll get to see them..but i know that after they're here i'm going to miss my freedom.
Bah.
oh well...we'll just see how it goes.
I hung out with a really astounding girl named Whitney for like 10 hours yesterday. she's really awesome. We talked for four hours and barely noticed it. I'm getting to realize just how amazing my church/family is. I'm looking forward to more of this.
Thank you God. Thank you for giving me these people.

because if seeing is believing,then believe that we have lost our eyes

I could run away

and You'd never leave
You'll always be
Right by my side
Right by my side
Right by my side

I've been running, in the figurative sense. Running away from responsibility, from commitments, from God. I've wanted intimacy that i could physically feel. I wanted to be close to someone, to hear someone tell me how wonderful i was and that i satisfied them. I didn't want to have to say it back. I didn't want someone to be close to, i wanted someone to be close to me. Why? I don't know. In trying to control my Pride and tendency to judge people i lost track of my selfishness. It got pretty bad, and i started feeling horrible about it because i had people telling me what a great job i was doing at Shack and that I've grown so much. And I have, I know I have and I can tell, but it doesn't change the fact that I felt like crap upon hearing these things because I knew where I was in my heart and walk with God, which was running for the fastest physical comfort...fortunately I have a Gracious God who is slow to anger and so so so good to me. Unfortunately however, I didn't want that. I never found that comfort, so I kept running...No I didn't completely run off the path, I didn't even run back down to where I came from..I basically just ran in place. Did I completely screw up? No, did i try my hardest too? Yes.
I realized all of this last night around...say...4 in the morning. And I'm sorry...who am I apologizing to? No idea, I guess you if I've been anything less than the face of Christ to you. To God also..but Him and I have talked that out already.
This is where I'm at, this is why I've been so silent on here, and now I move on. And pick up Blue Like Jazz again.

Everything I've ever wanted,
I have found in You.

You are the Light of the World.