SO

God is good. So is today.
I got a over full nights rest (btw hasn't happend in over 6 months.) and i'm drinking a double tall whitechoc. and irish cream iced latte, just had a cig (i've been cutting down a lot, it's been over a week). So yeah, i'm so so so good right now. I'm happy.
Love,
Denton.

Messy

We are messy, we are broken, we smoke and use colorful language, we dance, and we yell and we laugh during worship, we admit our struggles and do not pretend, we are christians. We follow a Jesus who helped the prostitutes and tax collectors and the outcast, we serve the God of Noah, who got drunk and naked after the flood , the God who called Isreal His chosen even when they turned away from him. I am hoplessly flawed and I am hopelessly Forgiven, unconditionally Loved. We deal with alcohol, and substance abuse, we face homosexuality and sexual immorality, we judge, and we doubt. And we are loved all the same, and we do not pretend to be any more or any less than we are.

Moons, hot tubs, and super cuddles

I can't help but think that when creating the universe and setting it all in motion, God knew last night was going to happen.
and that makes me smile a little bit.

I am this great unstable mass of blood and foam,

and no one in her right mind would make my home her home.

So, i found out somethings on sunday. I have a problem with loneliness, as in, i don't deal with it well. I freak and take everything out of context. (look at the last post, now ignore that one and look at the one before it.)
Second, I am not alone in my loneliness. I'm not the only one who is up at 1:30 looking at facebook going...why don't i have any wall post?
Third, I've lost my feeling of community at the Shack. The shack hasn't lost it's sense of community, just me. i feel like an outsider sometimes. Can i also say that this is purely caused by the fact that i hate that i don't live in columbia. I feel as though i'm removed from the comunity of Columbia and Shack. But, i have let all of this take me a direction of "getting over it" and realized that i'm A) not alone and B) not ACTUALLY removed from the Shack community.
good yeah?

To my bestfriend

I got your valentines day card tonight. I am sick and pittiful and kind feel like dying. Thank you for the card. it made my night in so many ways. I love you, and i was just reminded about how you are always there for me when i need you to be.
Happy valentimes day.
I love you,
Denton.

So, i don't really know what possesed me to post this again, but i am.
I introduce you to a 10th grade Denton Cruser who thought he could write poetry. (slightly altered from its original form.)
Every word, however, is still true.

That Girl

That girl over there,
i've seen her before.

I think i saw her from a far,
just across the room, but unreachable.

I saw her again, in the library,
she was across the table.

She said "hey, i dont really know you, but can i sit here?"
I asked myself 'is still untouchable?'
she sat.

Now, she sits next to me, and i think,
'no one's ever touched me in the way she has,
no one's brought out me as much as her, and
no one has ever let me see who i am, in the way she has."

But She's not the same girl across the room, with the violas anymore.
Or across the table anymore
Now, she is that crazy girl,
That amazing, saving girl,

who made Me reachable.

wait...what?

I don't understand.
Why on earth do i feel upset about stupid shit like facebook.
I really, honest to God, don't get it and it makes me so mad. My worth is not determined by facebook pictures or myspace messages or blog comments. I mean, really, what is wrong with me. That even in my worst, weekest, and most depressed state, that this stuff would bother me. When i have the Greatest Love, the most Significant Attention all the time.
I obviously need to work on my self-esteem.

When ever i close my eyes, i see your face.

So, the title of this blog was a joke, and the real one is....
The Most Remarkable Thing About Them Being in My Life is That They are THEM!
There's some people in my life i would like to show my thanks for.
A boy who can put me in a good mood no matter what, and that is so exagerated in everything he does that it makes me want to expand myself
A girl who has me utterly wraped around her finger in the best way.
A girl who is so brave and whom has showed me how deep God's strength and love is, who i didn't know how deeply i cared about until saturday.
A woman who is a warrior and will never let us give up on ourselves.
A Family who i have found extrodinary and beyond anything i have ever seen. A family who can take a broken and scared girl, and raise her to who feet in a matter of days by forming a certain team AWESOME.
My heart is growing and deepening and it hurts in the best way possible. i have been broken and am mending. Refreshing is an understatment.

"I am this great, unstable mass of blood and foamAnd no one in her right mind would make her home my home"