In my fear

I fell from You. I'm worried that I slowed your work down....I didn't think i could handle all that You were giving me, therefore i neglected one part and in effect started ignoring You. That's what You get for being so right all the time, telling us what we've done wrong,.....even when we can't bare to hear it.....So I chose not to hear it...or atleast pretend i couldn't. I could hear You the entire time....i could feel You, but at my back not in my heart......i didn't want You there. But i'm ready to listen again...I'm ready to deal...i can make it through this...i'll take it as a compliment...and say to myself..Look how much He knows you can handle?!?!..and maybe, just maybe that will keep the trepidation at bay...
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How much longer can i continue to go? When will it make me break...when will working all week, closing on wed. nights and opening on thursday mornings-getting 5 hours of sleep tops- plus going to school just become too much? I don't know if i can do it for another three weeks. UGHHHHH GOD PLEASE GIVE ME STRENGTH FOR THIS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
(screaming that in.....5...4..3.2.1!)