That thing that we do.

So, I looked back to the blog I wrote very close to today a year ago, and I was so much more self aware then, far more willing to recongize my faults, and own up to them. I feel as though I've lost myself in pride and complaint, I can see the light coming from above, from the world outside of this hole that I've dug for myself. I'm climbing toward it, but it feels once again, as it did a year ago, that God isn't even listening, that He's dissapointed in me, and I've grown enough in the past year to know that those things aren't true, and that He loves me always, and that I have His grace and forgiveness, and that He hears every word I utter. It just feels like that. Is this enemy, or self? and how often are those the same thing?
I need prayer, I need help, I need confession, I need love. I am loved, I am Loved, I Am Loved. I need to love myself. Will this be my other eternal struggle...self love? God, I beseech You that it is not so.
I'm getting so stressed out about this next year, and I really just need to give it all to God already. He got me through this last one, He'll get me through this one. I'm in need, I'm in Need of You, Lord.

Also, Carole Joy, if you still read this, I love you and I miss you.