O-oh oh, here i am again.

Here i am again. All my bestfriends have boyfriends(they're all girls), my family doesn't ever see me, i feel alone in a coffee shop that i've lived in for years, and all i can do is put my head in my hands, taking in the sent of espresso grounds that defines me as a barista and wonder why. Why did i end up here again, why do i find myself in this position more often than not. Why i don't have that person, friend, family, some one who works in the same building as me, that comes and sees me, comes and visits me when i have no customers. I have my bestfriends, and i have a few of them, but they, at this point in time, have more-significant others than myself, and i really don't enjoy forcing myself on couples. So i ask God why, and then i remember that i don't have someone because i don't have the relationship with God that i need to have to be in a relationship. I would love someone to fall into infatuation with, to be smitten by, to glow about, but those things end, and it's never good, and would just futher distract me from my relationship with God.
and yet still, even knowing that, i just want that person. That person will talk to me until 4 in the morning, no matter how many times i tell them to go to sleep if i'm keeping them up, that will throw food at me and that will laugh at all my rediculous traits.
God of love, my Lord, my King, give me strength to give You this offering.