Wow..

I can't believe the roller coaster I'm on right now. I feel like I'm on the road to becoming who I want to be and to getting my crap straight, but I feel like I keep running of track and then running back, and I'm not making a lot of progress. I want to be more consistent, and I think I'm getting there, mainly because of some self realizations, but also because I want to be the person and man and man of God that the amazing people in my life expect and need me to be. And I want to be that person, even more so, because I expect and need myself to be that man.

I read your blog just now, and you did one of those silly things where you talk about people but don't let them know who they are by name, just explanation.....and I wasn't one of those people, and that kind of hurt/broke my heart. And that's not fair to say to you because I've done nothing to be one of those people in your life. But maybe if I had focused on God and you a little bit more in the past couple of weeks then I could have been. Regardless I miss you, and I love you, and I've realized that I want you to be part of my life, as a friend, nothing more, but I need you there as a friend, and I feel like maybe you need me too, and maybe that is arrogant thing to say, but I feel like it could very well be true, because it's been true in the past. I hope it is. I hope I'm right in all of this, and I hope that we can both handle it....