My mission in life.

So, i'm waiting, waiting for my mission in life, my cause, my camand to tear down the church of my father. I wish it would come. I'm completely causless right now, and i guess i'm okay with it, but i'm tired of wandering around with no passion. I mean i have a passion for God, and it's real and strong, but i see all these people with passions within God, like playing music to worship Him with, teaching people about Him, helping people understand Him better. I want that, i want to know without a doubt that there is somthing in need to be doing for Him. Even if it's going to ophanages in Africa. I just wish i KNEW! I mean, it seems that things come up where im like "Hey, I need to do this!" and then it's like STOMP! reality decides to make me realized that it's can't work out. I'd love to do stuff with hannah house, buut, i only have two days a week free, and those are neccesary for homework. It sounds lame, i realize but those two days are rest days. If i don't have those i would freak out, i've already had two almost breakdowns and been saved by only the grace of God and some greatly timed phone calls of friends. so i'm going to try my hardest to make 1 or 2 days a month where i can see those kids, but i'll have to work that out still.
And then i got offered to go to New Orleans with Shack people and help build houses, okay i LIVE for this kind of stuff, and now i can't go b/c of scheduling. So that goes bye bye too. I mean, i don't understand. it's like everything that i feel i'm called to, everything that i do feel pasionately about is being closed off from me.
RAWR! this is how i feel.