Why am i crying?

So, i just found out that an old friend from highschool died in a car wreck, a drunk driver hit him. His name was spencer mullins. i only knew him for two years, and we didn't really talk a lot, mainly just gave eachother shit while my brother drove him home, and sometimes at school we'd say hey and give eachother more shit. But he was one of the first guys to really be a friend to me, i don't make friends with guys really easy, so it was really cool. i haven't seen him in a little over a year.

So can some one tell me why i'm crying? i've been crying on and off for the last hour, and i'm crying right now as I type this. I mean, i haven't talked to him in forever, i only knew him for two years barely, more like one and a half, and never had a real conversation with him. we just picked on eachother.....

and now all i can think about are those rides when i sat by the door with him in the middle, my brother had a truck with only one seat, and he just would give me shit about everything, and i'd give it right back, he was one of the first people who i could really have a sarcastic sparing match with, without fearing i'd hurt their feelings, and without getting hurt myself.

GOD! i'm so tired of crying.

this sucks so bad. i've thought about him sparingly in the past couple of years, just here and there and laughing and enjoying the memories....i mean, i dont' really feel like i should have talked to him more, me and him just weren't really close. but we did sit through inschool together once, that was hilarious, he was talking about his service learning teacher, and how we thought he was gay and how spencer thought he walked around with a dildo stuck up his butt. haha, spencer was really crude sometimes, but if you saw how this teacher walked, you'd understand....hahahahaha, now i'm laughing out of hilarity and holding back tears! this is so weird and stupid. i'm sad that he died, but i don't feel this profound loss or anything, it's not even so much that i miss him, well..i guess i do, but since i haven't seen him in so long, it's not a huge miss, and the fact that i wont ever see him agian, hurts me only so much b/c i didnt see him for 2 years.

Spencer was also bi, and use to hit on me a lot, i think he knew that i was interested in guys then...but he never brought me out...i guess he just didn't really see a need to, he just respected the fact that i wasn't ready to come out....
Well, goodbye Spencer, thanks for everything...

Love always,

Denton